So it’s been one year. Last Friday I was back at my therapists on the exact day that I walked through “that door” a year ago. I told him this, we shared a toast over coffee, and spent the hour going over just what progress I’ve made over the past year. He said, “well look at the person who you were when we started vs the person you are today.” I told him I was too close to it. Had no perspective. So we talked. He stressed how “we” did things together, progressing as a team I suppose. He stressed that I had been through a lot this past year. He also told me that he thought working with me has made him feel like a better therapist. That was good to hear. Something like “I’m stronger that I realized.”
He brought up the fact that I stuck with it even though I was ready to walk out the door, literally, but I did stay, sat down and listened to him. I allowed him to calm me down. He alluded to the fact that he actually felt in over his head at that point and I realize now that his stressing Forrest View for me was in fact what he wanted me to do. Maybe he felt in over his head. He again pointed out that it was something high stress and somewhat touch and go that “we” got through together. Me not walking out the door and fleeing the scene and him not referring me out.
We didn’t get into the original 3 month healing process due to the rug being pulled out from under me. No need. We didn’t get into the medication or the doctor aspect of things. We mainly just reflected on the year. The Year in Review! I told him I didn’t want to stop coming, if anything I worry about him leaving, like moving which he sometimes mentions. I told him that almost all of my therapists (more like counselors) have bailed on me. All of my psychiatrists have, and they’re the most important! What the hell! He mentioned a bit of abandonment issues I may have because of that and just assured me that he wasn’t going anywhere.
God I love that guy!