• Noise!

    It’s happening… I’ve got to get out of here. There is no privacy at all in this house! I feel like I’m living on a boat. A very small boat! The squeaky floors are the worst. You can hear everything that is going on everywhere. I know I am weirdly sound sensitive, but this is just fucked. The slamming of the cupboards and back door is also pushing me right over the edge. What do I have to do to make it even livable? I guess the backdoor needs some type of resistance. Maybe a thicker threshold or fluffier whatever that stuff is called that keeps the cold out…

    I’m taking the clonazipam every day now. Maybe it’s earplugs that will be the solution. But why the fuck should I change me when its my house?

  • Glorious Murder

    This is just too much… Buyers remorse? I call it Buyers Fury! Doors are coming off hinges, sprinkler systems are failing, faucets leaking, door handles coming off, doors not even closing. Every time I turn around there is something else. I got the evil eye on the wall facing the front door, and a bloody chicken foot from the witches of New Orleans at the back door! So, what the fuck?! I don’t even know what to call all these things that are going wrong. Like the front door needs a thingy is on my list.

    I’m also pissed that my ex just watches TV all day long and can’t do the simplest things around the house. Yes, I did just say that. He’s living here with me until he finds a place, but in order to do that he needs a job and just how is that panning out? He says he want’s a temp job at a boatyard, so he can have November and December off to go out west and ski. I’m like, “how are you gonna pay rent?” because your not staying here! 

    As far as the job front, I’ve decided it’s time to get proactive. So, yesterday I discovered that professional resume’s have come a long, long way… we’re talking full color, one page designs directed at the sole individual place of business. No more past experience, bullet pointed blah, blah, blah it’s all about the future and what you can offer the company. All the details that used to be in the fucking interview right? Oh no, this is now neatly delivered on a well designed piece of paper, pie-charts and all! And I’m not even talking about the social media arena… ramping it up to a full scale personal promo. Hell, some people even have videos out there! Not only am I intimidated by even starting one, I’m starting to feel my good ole friend bipolar disorder invading my space again.

    Invading my space, what an appropriate choice of words. I have people invading my space and it’s freaking me out. They’re everywhere! Ex’s, children, parents, cousins, nieces. Fuck! I love them all to pieces, but I desperately need alone time! I’ve always needed it, and now I am so over this I’m almost ready to throw plates.

    This morning, I discovered my son’s closet door was stuck. I gave it a good tug. The doorknob fell off. That’s when the plate throwing ideas came to mind. I decided to look for the most violent game online where I could kill people. What was the one that started it all? Oh yes, Grand Theft Auto. My son tells me there’s better now.

    I’ve already pruned the hell out of my entire yard to deal with the mania. I finally gave my loppers to a friend. They’re in her custody until I’m sure I won’t do any permanent damage to my landscaping. Then there’s Steve…. my hedge project. Oh, that’s going to be good when I really get out there. For now, I’ve added “Watch Dexter” to my calendar every night at nine for the next week. Glorious Murder as Klaus put it. But honestly, I need something entirely more gritty than The Originals. Criminal Minds, yes, but Dexter, well… he’s the one who gets to do all the killing. This will have to suffice for a while.