One week later, then bam! My own mother needed to be admitted to the ED for an illness that we still don’t know the diagnoses for. Suddenly she was on deaths door as well. I still had my badge from working there and got more information than most would. It was a sickness that almost took her life. So now… I am broken. I don’t know how else to put it. I am not the same person. I dont think that I ever will be again. I’m torn between two places. I live 2000 miles apart from my family and here where I convinced my mother to move to, but what I have realized is that I can’t take care of her on my own.
I wrote a really nasty text to her family after about 7 days in the hospital watching her deteriorate, me there by myself. It was, well.. it went something like this: This is the last group message that I am writing. If any of you want to know how mom is doing then call the hospital. As I have relayed to you, she is still in critical condition and has has had multiple tests. The CT of her body came back negative and she is now going for a CT on her brain and will have a consult with Neurology tomorrow. So, this is how I feel: Brother, if you give a flying fuck about the woman who gave birth to you, get on a plane and get The Hell up here. Aunt Sh: I appreciate your prayers, but quite frankly I do not believe in god and if I ever do get to meet him face to face I will do my best to kick the living shit out of him. M: take your positive energy and shove it up your ass. S: You have been calling almost every day and I am sorry I haven’t gotten back with you more often. Aunt Su: Thanks for the comic relief. It is much needed at this point. J: you get the gold star! You have been the picture of support. I’ll tell you what. Those of you who I have just bitched out, how about you call J and ask her what it means to truly care. So, like I said, call the hospital if you want any information. I’m sure SPH is listed in the phonebook. Under hospitals.